Livin’ the grocery delivery life

Three years ago, I about Shipt my pants when I found out grocery delivery was coming to Central Florida. I know, some of you may think of buying your own groceries like dialing rotary phones, but today was my first time.

Why did it take so long? For several reasons: I like visiting with my favorite Publix employees like Abee (College Park) and Tom (Hollieanna), I often find meal inspiration in the aisles, I shop on the weekends alllll by myself, and — darn it — shopping at Publix is a pleasure (why would I let a perfect stranger bogart all my pleasure?!). Also, I knew there were markups, and at the time the sales didn’t align.

My husband had his own reasons: First, there is a membership fee, and second, how did I know for sure the shopper wouldn’t shoot me in my driveway? (You guys, this was a legitimate concern of his. But please tell me why, if you were going to shoot me in my driveway, you’d need to bring groceries first? Anyway, I’d take a light flesh wound to not have to stand in the deli line.)

The biggest reason for both of us is “children.” My boys are 10, 8, and 6. (I call them Ten, Eight, and Six, but I can’t tell you which one’s which because I am an intensely private person.) I occasionally have to bring them to the store with me. This usually involves an additional cart for all the extra items and Eight’s cart rides down the aisle when I’m not looking.

If my husband wants to go shopping, we’ll leave the kiddos with his mom for the afternoon. It’s like a date day but with zero fun. First of all, finding a spot in the Costco parking lot is like tracking down Blackbeard’s treasure. Then we get to fight a HUGE crowd. Yay! But the best part is Tetris-ing the giant packages of paper towels and unbagged vats of pasta sauce into the minivan in such a way that when I press the rear-door button, everything doesn’t smash all over the pavement.

Yesterday, I was scrolling through Facebook and — if it is indeed spying on me, it has inevitably heard me complaining about spending my precious weekend time going grocery shopping — happened to see an offer from Shipt for half off the annual fee. Grocery delivery now included Publix, ABC, Target, and COSTCO!

My husband (let’s call him Forty-Three) and I had a long talk about what our time is worth. We’re working parents with kids who come downstairs a foot taller each morning. We jumped right in, which is a ridiculous analogy (seriously, it took us three full years to make this decision).

I downloaded the app and right away noticed I could pull up the sale items — WINNING! I selected some things we buy every week that were on sale and saw several things that could make good meals — INSPIRATION! There were no impulse buys — SAVING! I clicked “purchase” and got the chills — BECAUSE I GET EXCITED EASILY!

I immediately saw that a shopper named Brittney had accepted my order and was on her way to the store. She sent me a friendly text and let me know she would message me if the store was out of anything. I texted back — I forgot to add dog food, the hard-to-find, grain-free formula (my dog is allergic to everything) — so needy, I thought, that she’s definitely going to shoot me. But she texted, “no problem,” and she included a picture of the bag to make sure it was the right one.

Is this real life? Amazing!

Brittney pulled into my driveway about an hour after I placed the order. Ten, Eight, and Six ran out to get the bags. She didn’t appear to be even slightly murder-y. She was friendly and personable and said, “Welcome to Shipt!” I wasn’t sure if she knew it was my first order because she saw it on my profile or the fact that I was jumping up and down clapping. She even let me take a selfie with her. Because she has no idea what this meant to me, and I therefore consider her one of my closest friends, and BFF’s take selfies. That’s why.

I can’t wait to take my first virtual trip to Costco. Though I will probably not (read: never) relinquish my precious Target time, I am thrilled that we’re finally living the grocery delivery life. Call me, Brittney!

Note: If you want to take advantage of the Mother’s Day half-off code for yourself or as maybe the most amazing Mother’s Day gift ever, use 6PAKB74C42E on or before May 13.

One Response to “Livin’ the grocery delivery life”

  1. Mimi
    May 3, 2018 at 12:13 pm #

    Hilarious!! Where was ” Shipt” 35 years ago when I needed them? You could never resist those packs of cigarettes near the checkout and I would find them in my grocery bag when we got home!! Memories!!

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